“We are all living on borrowed time, some of us are just more aware of it.” - Tom Lane

Bucket (Life) Listing

Can you believe we are into the fourth month of the new year? How does time seem to move so quickly, or is it just me? I remember some days when it seemed time stood still and flew simultaneously. Every time there are big life changes, time seems to drag, like a day is never-ending. But then it all balances again. Where are you on the time thing? Think about this for a moment. Step back and take a little different perspective. Truly, where do you think we land on the timeline spectrum? My late husband had a saying that I have mentioned before, but it seems worth mentioning again. He always said, “we are all living on borrowed time, some of us are just more aware of it”. It drove me crazy when he said this because it seemed so morbid, but now I get what he was saying. We truly never know where we stand on the timeline. I was thinking about this because in about 17 months, I have one of those monumental birthdays. I’m turning 60. My eye twitches at the thought. Without getting too in the weeds, I have a pattern that has to do with the change of decade in my age. Those zero years (actually the fives, born in 1965) seem to usher in big changes in my life. It might just be me, but my twenties were all about travel, fun and, well, me. I had a bucket list and went for it. It was pretty adventurous and lots of fun, but really lonely. My thirties were all about getting married and having babies. My forties were filled with so much change including a divorce, remarriage, kids growing up and big moves across the country. The last eight years have been fun, scary, sad, and tumultuous. Becoming an empty nester and then a widow changed my perspective on so many things, but this has been a difficult decade so far. 

All that to say that I am both looking forward to and nervous about the next 17 months and beyond. I have learned that time does not stand still, and we have a choice to make. We can either just hang out and basically wait until time is up or we can live on purpose. I am not telling you anything you haven’t heard a million times before, but I want you to think about it. Once again, I am trying to figure out what I want, what I like and how I want to live. I’m betting you have experienced some of what I’m dealing with for a second time. I went furniture shopping (more window shopping than anything else for the moment) thinking about my new home. Our current home is decorated with a very coastal vibe because we live at the beach. My late husband was a coastal kind of guy, and all of our furniture has that feeling. The colors are blue and soft white hues with shiplap with lots of lighthouses and driftwood stuff. I have comfortably enjoyed this home for several years, but when thinking about my new home, I realized this really isn’t my style. Looking at furniture, I found myself gravitating toward deep rich buttery leather sofas and funky chairs. I kept eyeing green tones, pale yellows, and deep purples. Heavy gold accents and lots of design made my heart flutter. I realized that I still love the boho chic style I had when I was single thirty years ago. It kind of made me giggle. For all my independence and lip service to remaining true to self and all that stuff, it was a crock. I have been enjoying a compromised sense of style for years and I actually loved it.

This got me thinking that maybe you guys can relate. I think our lives go in cycles. When we sense that we are moving toward a new evolution, we develop a deep restlessness, like a feeling that we are lagging behind or maybe there really is more than what we see on the surface. This feeling nags at us, pushing us forward. Now, maybe that only happens to me, but I’m betting you can relate and if you can, hold on! I have something that is going to be fun! I have made the decision to live as intentionally as possible for the 17 months leading up to my 60th birthday and see where I land. This means that I have to change things up a bit. I have to think about things that I have considered doing but haven’t. I have to decide what my motivation will be, and I have to… wait for it… put myself first sometimes. That makes my heart beat a little faster just writing it out. Stop right now and think in those terms for a second. No seriously, stop reading and think about something you have wanted to do, but haven’t for whatever reason. Now give yourself permission to truly consider what it would be like to do that something. How would it make you feel? Would it make a difference at all? Maybe not, but at least you did it, right? 

I got so excited thinking about this that I have created another bucket list, only this time, I have been much more intentional. In my twenties, I listed things like bungee jumping (did it once, hated it. Did it again, hated it more), and white-water rafting (super fun and back on this list), but very few things that truly enriched my life. This time, I am choosing more things that I want to learn as well as experience. The first list was just a jumble of experiences and thrills for the heck of it, this list is more thoughtful. Does that make sense? The first list was made from a fear of missing out and boredom. This list has been made with deep desire and curiosity. And that leads me to you. What are you curious about? What would you choose for your list? Let’s do an exercise together and then I’ll let you in on the surprise. 

For the next few days, I want you to stew on this article a bit. I want you to read the following questions and really give them some thought. Give yourself permission to dream a bit and think through some things you have been avoiding. This isn’t about changing your entire life, merely doing some things that you haven’t done, simply because you are curious about them. When considering the questions, do consider the means and availability to complete the task. For example, one of my items is crossing a suspension bridge. I know my children and I are planning to take a trip that has that opportunity in the fall. That means the opportunity is there and available, I need only make the reservations and actually do it. Get it? So to begin, we have a few things to consider. 

• Choose a timeline. 

  • It can be months or years but set a start and end date to target for completion of the list. 

• Choose from the five types of bucket-list assignments and explore your thoughts around accomplishing them.

  • Classes

  • Experiences

  • Destinations

  • Activities

  • Introductions

• For Classes consider the following-

  • What is something you have been interested in learning but never took the time to do it?

  • Are there classes available close by that you could sign up to attend?

    • Glass blowing

    • Painting

    • Writing

    • Ceramics

    • Gardening

  • The content doesn’t matter as much as your interest in the class and the availability to accomplish the task

  • If local availability isn’t feasible, can this one go under a destination target as a two for one opportunity? 

  • Think about why you are interested in this class

  • Think about other benefits of signing up-

    • Interest

    • Meeting new people

    • Getting out of the house

    • Acquiring a new skill

• For experiences, think about things that seem really fun or interesting, but never occurred to you to try.

  • Police ride along

  • Hot Air Balloon ride

  • Skydiving

  • Spending the night (or weekend) in a yurt

  • Hang-gliding

  • White-water rafting

  • Hiking

  • Your turn

• Destinations are fun because you get to dream about places you would like to visit, but for whatever reason you haven’t. Things to consider-

  • Proximity to your current location

  • Travel budget and time

  • Travel alone or with a friend

  • Think outside the box a bit

    • Destination could also be touristy things in your hometown that you have never attended

• Activities are things you want to accomplish but have back-burnered for some reason. Give yourself a timeline and work toward completion.

  • Write your book

  • Walk in that 10K or half-marathon

  • Complete that garage project

  • Learn a new language and use it

• Introductions are fun, but tricky. Think of someone you want to meet and figure out a way to meet them (legally, don’t be a creeper).

  • Local celebrities

  • Authors

  • Podcasters

  • Politicians

Ok, so I have given you lots to think about and hopefully get excited about accomplishing. I hope you have been inspired but we aren’t finished. Once you have a list, I want you to begin prioritizing your list based on the following criteria, 

• Ease 

• Proximity 

• Ability 

I have my list prioritized so that classes close to home are at the top of my list. I have looked at my plans for the next year and feel fairly confident that I can accomplish everything on the list within my time allotted (513 days). One thing to consider is your ability to perform the tasks you desire. If it is questionable, choose steppingstone items to get you to that point. For example, if you want to run\walk a half marathon within the year, but you rarely walk much further than from the closest parking space to the door, you will need to begin by maybe entering a few 5k walks. I did include a couple of serious stretch items on my list because I anticipate feeling more confident as I tick off my accomplishments, but this is my list and I get to change it up as I choose. That is an important point that I want you to notice. These are not “goals”, and this is not manifesting a vision board. I have both of those, but this is different. My Living List is there to remind me that we all come with an expiration date that isn’t printed on our body anywhere so we can plan for it. We have no idea where we are on the timeline and this list keeps me living intentionally and with curiosity. This list wakes me up to my life. 

Now for the fun part. Creating and fulfilling a Living List should be fun, make us a little uncomfortable, and most of all celebrated! So for all of you who choose to join me on this little journey, I will be recording myself accomplishing the items on my list and posting about them in a special Facebook community called, Me Beyond We Community, and I want you to do the same! The rules will be simple-

• Create your list (I’ll include some resources to assist on my website)

• Begin completing items

• Record yourself as you do them or just take a selfie (keep it fun)

• Post to the group and celebrate!

• Comment and cheer each other on. This is a BIG DEAL!

That’s it! How fun can we make this for one another? I am super stoked for this summer and the coming year! Please think about some of the things you would love to try and join me on this little intentional living thing for a while! Until next time, find something that brings you joy and do more of it! See you at MeBeyondWe.com and Me Beyond We on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest!