“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.” - A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

Dream Days...

Do you ever indulge in dream days? I’m not talking about dreamy perfect days that make you smile just thinking about them. I mean, do you ever take days to sit in a quiet place and just dream of the possibilities? I recently took a rainy Sunday while my family was otherwise occupied (even my dog was lazy) and did just that. It was wonderful! The house was clean, but it didn’t matter if it wasn't that day. I had decided that I needed a “chill day” to just relax but it truly turned into something much more special. Let me explain.

If you have been following me, you know that my home is up for sale. I had forgotten what a daunting process this could be and how discouraging it can get when there are tons of people coming through, but crickets. The day before my realtor had held an open house, so I had a couple of hours to kill. I went for a drive and get this… I found this super cool neighborhood tucked in the middle of several horse ranches. The development is so new that it isn’t even on the GPS system and none of the houses are ready for occupancy. The lots are gorgeous, and I fell in love. I walked around for a long time and happened upon this new floorplan. I walked through this house and somehow knew that I was home. Y’all, I was shook! I haven’t had this sense of peace since I started this whole endeavor. It is a little out of the price range I have imposed on myself and there are a couple of minor things that will need to be addressed, but I could literally feel myself moving into that house. I could see the outdoors next year and I could feel myself settling into the house and making it my new home. It didn’t make sense, but it didn’t have to. It still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but I somehow know that this is my new fresh start. So, I said a little prayer and gave it to God. My anxiety melted. 

That brings me to the following day. Because of the Open House, my normal routine of cleaning was lighter than usual, my dog was exhausted from two consecutive daycare days (unusual for him), and my kids were all busy with their own plans. Even my dad was busy with March Madness. That left me with free time on a very stormy day. It was perfect. I love a rainy day when I don’t have to leave my house, don’t you? I went out onto my porch and began to just think for a bit. Thinking about the new house brought up all sorts of emotions, but mostly it gave me the chance to start dreaming again. I thought about each room and how I would place my furniture. As I thought more deeply, I searched Pinterest for ideas and then went down a few rabbit holes on how to DIY some big projects.  I lost myself in planning and learning and studying. I became so busy with this dreaming that I didn’t even realize that I had planned this blog and a future podcast project (because I will now have the space for a studio) and even planned a retreat here at the beach for you guys (more on that to come). The content of the dream day isn’t as important as the fact that I could actually do it. Does that make sense? 

If so, stay with me. What do you dream about? If you are like me, your brain stays so focused on the needs, wants, and demands of other people that you really have no idea what you dream about or even what you want. That isn’t a condemnation or judgment, merely an observance of most of the people I know, including myself. Remember I did a laundry list of all the stuff that I didn’t have to accomplish and mentioned that my children were all occupied? Hell, I even mentioned my dog’s needs and the fact that he could chill too. Get my point? We get so busy taking care of others that we forget we need care too. Also note that I didn’t unplug, I used my phone and iPad to explore all those options and study all the skills I want to acquire. I just used the tools to my advantage. Therein lies the key to a perfect dream day. You get to decide. If you merely want to check out and daydream, cool. If you choose to scroll all day, no problems. If it is a combo day that includes a nap, even better. 

Now, even though my dream day came about somewhat organically, I enjoyed it so much, and woke up so rested and calm that I decided to begin planning them. I think it should become part of my routine and yours! Isn’t that crazy? We have become so accustomed to being busy, our minds switched to the ON position, and our pace so fast that we have forgotten how to slow down and just be quiet. How long has it been since you just sat quietly and read a good book for pleasure? It had been way too long for me. So, let’s work through a few ways to incorporate dream days into your schedule. 

First, prioritize yourself for a bit. Even if you have to just sit in your car parked in the garage after the kids go to sleep. Do it. Set a timer if you must but allot some time to just daydream or read or whatever every week. If that seems too difficult at first, schedule it like a doctor’s appointment and take yourself to a quiet place away from all the responsibilities of home for a couple of hours. Go to a coffee shop or the mall and window shop or sit quietly and scroll. The point is to escape your reality for just a moment and quiet your mind. Focus on what brings you pleasure instead of a to-do list of responsibilities. 

Next, give yourself permission to begin scheduling these sanity breaks more regularly. Even if it is for shorter times and more frequently, allow yourself that time and freedom. Remember that your health is crucial to those around you. This practice benefits your children, work environment and your home environment. If you are always stressed and distracted, those around you feel it and respond as well. Prioritize your mental and your emotional health to enhance your family’s well-being. Understand this is not selfish. It is vital to your well-being. 

Finally, create a sanctuary that is yours alone. Train your family to respect it (and you) enough that when you enter this area, they understand that you are unavailable for a brief time. For me, my bedroom is my space. When my children were smaller, it was my bathroom. I took a soaking bath every evening. This was my quiet time, and everyone understood that they were not to disturb me unless it was a dire emergency. One of my friends took a closet and created a little “Zen Den” (her words, not mine). She painted it a quiet color, set up a meditation pillow, added soft lighting and placed a shelf for her drink glass and her phone. Look for a nook that you can lay claim to and put up the do not disturb sign! This doesn’t have to be a huge deal, just give yourself permission to dream, plan and enjoy quiet times alone again. You can do this! 

That is all for this week! Check in next week for some new thoughts in this same vein, but with a different twist. And in the meantime, find something that brings you joy (or at least peace) and do more of it! Peace out my friends! Talk next week!